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"Zugzwang"

The first piece by Zain Jaxicus

Born of desperation, begrudgingly best defined by a chess term. ​​​

"In chess, there’s a position called zugzwang, like being forced to hurt yourself. Being put in zugzwang means a player is obliged to move even though moving means losing a piece. If the player didn’t have to move, the situation wouldn’t be so dire. It always takes place at the endgame; it’s a position that seals the truth, which is that losing is inevitable."

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Zoé Valdés, The Weeping Woman, 2016

"The Compulsion to Move"

This painting represents the crux of my style. Though not the first piece to come from a bout of potentially perceived insanity, it was the first wherein my conscience didn't just take a back seat but essentially passed out.

This piece served as another installment in what I affectionately call 'messages from my pen pal.' Because, as hard as I try, even I can't explain its origins in completeness. But I do know it was born from a knowledgeable degree of hopelessness, and it was the first piece to come from postponing action to allow myself a blissful moment of pure reaction. 

Born of desperation and begrudgingly best defined by a chess term. ​

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Driven by a combined feeling of absolute necessity and deep despair - hence the namesake - I felt powerless but restless. I was horrified by the prospects of yet another situation where both action and inaction had terrible consequences. Essentially a quintessential part of womanhood. 

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